Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Dave's Top 10 Reasons Why Americans Won't Use Bicycles

10. There are too many wild and crazy car drivers who hog the road.

9. It's difficult to have sex or get a great ya know without the whole world watching.

8. It's easy for the cop to see you toking a joint.

7. You might become the 40 year-old virgin.

6. The police, the public, and criminal (in)justice system all think you are impeding traffic.

5. You get a really nasty looking black stripe on your back every time it rains.

4. The necktie flapping in the wind makes you look like the gay version of the Great Waldo Pepper.

3. Riding a tandem alone en route to pick up your date makes you look like a pretty pathetic version of the 40-year-old-virgin.

2. The fat ass crushes the saddle so much you can feel the seat post.

1. Cheap gas.