Friday, January 13, 2006

Who Wants To Assassinate Paul Tay?

The village idiot extraordinaire, the guy even the Oklahoma ACLU hates, the guy who pissed off half of Tulsa with a big dick, super pseudo-assassin Paul Tay is on the TIG hit list. Yes, that's right. No joke.

The TIG Chief POP is offering $1 million for the pix proving the assassination of Paul Tay, currently a candidate for Mayor of Tulsa 2006. The dirty deed can be accomplished in any way the assassin chooses. Gunshot, run him over with a car or truck, whatever the assassin thinks the most efficient.

Think about this: If someone assassinates Paul Tay, would the Tulsa Police even care? Probably the most efficient way to assassinate Paul Tay is to just run him over with your car or truck. The law is on the side of the motor vehicle driver in cases where death or major injury occurs to the bicycle driver. After all, the bicycle driver deserved it. He/she should not have been on the roadway and in traffic.

Of course, you can always get creative. And, why not? This is supposed to be a fun contest, right? Wave a $100 bill at him. Lure him onto a side street. And, then, let him have it with the 357. Yeah, baby!

That's right, people. Calling all assassins worldwide. $1 million cash prize into a secret Swiss account, if you can prove you assassinated Paul Tay. Nobody likes a mad chinaman with a big dick. If your whack his mother in the process, we'll throw in another 50 bucks.

E your pix to tulsaindygazetter (at) yahoo (dot) com. The deadline for the assassination contest is 4 April 2006. Contest void where prohibited. Only Paul Tay of Tulsa, Oklahoma qualifies as the assassination victim.

Disclaimer to law enforcement: The above post is intended to be satire, not really a solicitation for murder. We hope you can appreacite the gallow humor that is not meant to be taken seriously by anyone, except for the severely mentally deranged, who really have no business on Tulsa streets anyways. No, Paul, you are not severely mentally deranged, maybe mentally challenged, but, not deranged. Did you have a lobotomy? We really love you! We really do. Let's have lunch sometime. NOT! You are such a mutherfucking sonofabitch, a worthless mad chinaman with a big dick, to boot. You are proof positive why intelligent design is a scam. Blaaaaaaaaaa! TIG salutes you with our collective middle finger, Niggaaaaa!